Razziehorseradish

2009-11-16T18:10:00.003-11:00

The Board serves the residents of our community. Our services should continue without interruption. Our contracted service providers should be paid . The lawyers fees can either be renegotiated or payment delayed. The lawyers will understand. They are aware of our financial status.

The Twilight Years

2009-11-09T16:25:00.004-11:00

Let me define fun....fun is working at what I want, when I want, where I want , how I want and doing the work without time limits or financial reimbursement considerations. It is total immersion and concentration on the project in front of me. Oh, if only , this could continue indefinitely! Economic considerations and the possibility of outliving my resources nag at me to find work with financial remuneration.
What am I doing that can add to my financial stability to support myself ?? Every day, I work on improving the landscaping of my home, I plan, research and cook healthy meals. I research on the computer . I attend meetings. I drive to appointments. I schedule my time wisely . I look at the year as a whole, break it down to monthly , weekly and daily goals. I monitor my finances and look for ways to reduce my spending. I look for ways to increase my assets. I watch tv. go to the pool, exercise, eat right, walk, network, make and maintain friendships and relationships, look at options for the future....look for a companion to share my life, dreams, organize more efficiently, maintain my home, get needed repairs house and car and me, read for information , for amusement, investigate new hobbies , new topics, pray, thank God for all my blessings, face reality of my actions, keep my house clean. eat, sleep, pee, poop, take my meds, run my home. run my life.

Is Trailer Estates a Democracy?

2009-11-09T15:42:00.004-11:00

You have not fully lived until you attend the board meetings of an over 55 community. You have to listen to our leaders expound on topics that a primary aged child knows: how to run a club, running in the red, quibbling over garbage pick up, paring down the budget, increasing property values, bringing in new revenue to pay off legal fees that can go on without an end in sight, and losing our status as a government back to a trailer park . Ramifications...yet people vote on values that are different than mine: who is nice, don't rock the boat, don't look outside the community at current practices, do not research options...they would talk about past victories than acknowledge what is happening in the present and preparing for the possible scenerios in the future. We are not talking about the options, we are not aware of the ramifications and how other communities have settled their disputes and how they would do it differently We are paying lawyer fees to reinvent the wheel instead of using modern phone, email, google, research , at a high level. Some do not understand how any of this works. Some cannot use modern technology. Are we using modern technology in the park?
Y es, I broke some conventional rules tonight. I do not like the limits they have set. their adherence to petty rules when their are principles at stake that are ignored. The resident should have been allowed to ask his question. If the moderator had kept his mind on the task at hand, all candidates would have responded to the same question. and no one would have been singled out. the written papers said to ask one question per sheet yet someone asked a zillion and why paper questions should have precedence over oral...it is because people do not speak for themselves. They hide behind their names...they didn't even stand up so we could identify them. The candidate who was not present ...we don't have a picture of him, a time and a place where he can speak to a group when he arrives in town

Does our office manage receive training to keep up with the demands of her job...does clerk stuff...does not have computer nor literary skills ./ Living in TE is like living in a factory town, a small town, a farm town, a country town vs a city town where there are laws and conventions that are more able to be accounted for than in a isolated little back water town with shadowy figures and pitfalls and moats.

I need to walk away and protect myself and my interests and make sure I can support myself in the lifestyle I want for me. I could just as well paint my nails tonight, and go looking for a rich old man to seduce than to think I can change the mindset of TE. What else can I do besides get involved in the political sphere of my community? Plenty. How best can I serve my interests so I stay strong in mind and body , so I can serve in some capacity in an environment of mutual respect.

Aging As Art

2009-11-09T07:50:00.000-11:00

There is an art and a science to aging. As we age, we are creating a work of art...a little Dali, Picasso, Monet, Rubens, and Manet , perhaps, a smidge of Kandisky. As the Great Masters studied forms, colors, lightening my favorite subject is people! Adding one's twist, one's unique perspective to the new work of art in progress, you see the new work emerge.The glory of God shines in all of us whether translucently, opaquely or under layers and layers of paint. It is up to each of us to create himself as a work of art. Let your light shine through , let your spirit move through you and take notice of the works of art in your life.

Turn Up The Air Conditioning

2009-10-30T17:40:00.004-11:00

I have "a trick or treat "date for Halloween with an old flame. We went together last spring, traveled this summer apart from each other. We have cooled off since infatuation has worn off and reverted back to friendship.
But for awhile there, we were star struck lovers. One evening, we were going to attend a church discussion group. I told him we shouldn't sit next to each other because we sizzled and sent out sparks, when we were around each other. When I arrived, there were no seats available for me on either side of him. We nodded in recognition of each other and I scurried past him to sit at the end of the table. His neighbor offered her place to me and I smiled and shook my head no. Too late, she was already out of her seat and now so I certainly could not graciously refuse her offer. I barely sat down, when a woman panted she was so warm and asked for the air conditioning to be turned on. My friend and I struggled to maintain our composure and not imitate hyenas. We sat without moving during the rest of the discussion.

2009-05-21T17:52:00.002-11:00

Where you live does matter. I was born in Chicago and loved growing up there. it was a wonderful city to learn about life and tasting the riches that big city had to offer. Snow, sleet, icy roads were offset by ice skating and taking public transportation or walking to high school. Summers were spent on North Avenue and Oak Street Beaches. Even living in Tennessee for twenty three years did not erode my memories of those wonderful days at the beach nor the treachery of the winters. A few years back, beaches came back into my life when my son and his wife moved to Virginia Area and all those great beaches reaching down to South Carolina. I admit I was a wee bit jealous of their proximity to sand and water and the clear horizon at the beaches. Oldest daughter and her husband moved to the Virgin Islands and lovely beaches combined with hills stirred my again. Visits to Florida left me dreaming, doodling, drawing and during one visit to Florida, I bought a home. My very own home near wondrous gulf beaches. I wake up every morning with a song on my lips ...I love this place. I love my life. I am elated to live out my dream.

2009-01-18T15:05:00.002-11:00

July2nd to January 17th has been another trying time in my life. I moved to a new city, a new state, a new home and it has been one long lonely time. Of course, there have been some good times. Thank goodness for small blessings. Many new experiences earned like gold smelted in a fire. So, tonight, I say thank you for my home, friends, family, food, clothes, fun times and determination not to quit. I keep going. I keep stepping out on faith. That is all I have to say.

2008-05-17T23:30:00.000-11:00

YIKES! I AM REALLY ON MY OWN

I am moving...not even a "sold" sign mars the grass or distracts from the beautiful spring flowers.

I spend my remaining days here sorting through the memories of this place once called home to my family.

My friends are nowhere in sight nor does the jingle of the telephone intrude upon the great silence of the solitary remaining occupant of the yellow house on the corner with the big front porch and the screened in back porch.

My neighbors go on about their routines. I have given away my bag of suckers to the next door little ones who childishly equate my name with sucker.

This is the longest retreat I have been on in my life. Not like the religious retreats of my youth. This retreat is endless with only the calendar reminding me the day of the Big Move is almost upon me. I work like the silent monks and offer my sufferings to anyone who will listen...mostly God, who is still with me.

This could have been a move to a nursing home or worse. This is the first move I have freely and solely chosen. A new environment, a new community, an adventure to see if the world is really flat as it has been for awhile now or round and fully packed with new sights and smells and nurturing to my soul.

2008-05-17T22:39:00.003-11:00

Not even a "sold" sign mars the beauty of the spring green grass and colorful flowers.

Friends are nowhere in sight nor do they call. My place has been filled even before I leave.

Days are filled with sorting through the stuff of my life

Nights bring bone weary slumber.

Daylight breaks, coffee perks, the rhythm of sorting, packing begins again

Familiar surroundings soon to be a memory but now is now the time to grieve.

The sunshine beckons to new scenery, new community, new hopes and dreams

Primary residence soon to be not Tennessee but the edge of the bay of Sarasota

My very first home chosen by me.

Sole Owner/ No Mortgage

2008-05-17T17:50:00.004-11:00

Not even a "sold" sign mars the beauty of the spring green grass and colorful flowers.

Friends are nowhere in sight nor do they call.

I spend my days sorting through the stuff of my life.

I spend my nights in deepest bone weary slumber.

Familiar surroundings soon to be a memory.

Primary residence soon to be

My very first home chosen by me.

2008-05-17T16:54:00.002-11:00

It is now less than two weeks until I move out of my home of twenty two years. I have cleared out almost all of the twenty five hundred square feet. I am worn out. I still care about the stuff of my life and have a need to keep some of the valuable, or sentimental items, so I am going to put these objects in storage.

Maybe that is what Florida is...a storage unit for old people who still see themselves as valuable and kept around for sentimental reasons. Grandma lives in Florida . Yahoo.

"She lives far far away and we will never have to visit her or deal with her" her daughter-in-law says. Yahoo. "Now we can visit with my wondrous family who are not in the least bit psycho like "HER" his mother. "

Lately, I dare not say one word...to anyone....I am so worn out...only Chris knows and loves me anyway and maybe more than ever.

2008-04-12T18:23:00.000-11:00

From the moment we are born , we are on the road to death.

We are prepared for the final goodbye in many small ways.

There are separations from loved ones and things and places .

And then there is DOWNSIZING when you voluntarily leave behind years of stuff.
I have resisted it through the years.
Now , the big house is sold.
I sort through stuff. Sad.
Yet, I am doing it. I am in control.

One funny part is after all this sorting, and Lady of the domain, playing lambs and goats like at the last judgment. The good little little lambs come with me. The bad little goats go , never, probably , to be seen again in this lifetime. "Good bye , little goats."

The funnier part is I am moving to Florida and after all this melodrama, what if, just what if,
A hurricane hits my new home and no little lambs are saved except the Old Goat I brought with me.

Life is funny that way.

2007-11-30T20:01:00.000-11:00

Annika, Annika,
Baby, Dear,
Sweet and gentle
You are to me.

Annika, Annika,
Baby, Dear,
Charming and shy
Princess of my heart you will always be.

You are always on my mind,
Morning , noon and night.
I hear your coos,
I see your smiles
I feel your breath upon my cheek

Your next visit cannot come to soon.
Until then, rest under the kindly moon
And give your parents a good night's sleep
Hush, hush, they are asleep.

Grandma B loves you!

Let's Talk Turkey- The Lost Art of Plain Talking

2007-11-22T10:15:00.000-11:00

# Tell me more about it

# What are the reasons for your opinion?

# I never thought of it that way

# That must have upset you

# How did it go?

# You are really a generous person

# I really admire that

Razziehorseradish

2007-10-28T10:44:00.000-11:00

Razziehorseradish

There Are No Coincidences

2007-10-28T07:36:00.000-11:00

When I was still employed, and after a full day at work , I found myself standing in the check out line at Wal-mart waiting my turn. The checker told me his line was closed. I told him I knew I should not have gone back for that bag of chocolate bars! Then, I heard a young man say, “The line IS open.” “Well, sir, you are a gentleman coming to a damsel’s distress” I replied.

While I waited for the transfer of the money boxes, I noticed the new checker‘s Wal-mart vest was covered with buttons, advertising his many interests. I asked him where he got the buttons, and he said the video store, car places, etc. I told him I also collected buttons but I put them on my bulletin board at work. He asked me where I worked and I told him The Department of Children’s Services. The woman behind me smiled as much to say that will put a stall in the conversation. I told the young man I worked with families and children who were in the foster care system. He said he was going to adopt . Did we have a Vietnamese child for adoption?” I told him probably not but we have many home-grown children from right here in Tennessee who could use a loving home.

While he continued to check out my purchases, I remembered I had just the night before run across a “May is Adoption Button” and told the man I thought I had a button for him. I fumbled and fumbled in my tote- sized purse and lo and behold I actually found it. When I showed it to him, he removed a button from his vest, and pinned my button on his vest right up front in a good spot where everyone would notice it. He simply said, “ I will wear it over my heart. “

I walked out with my basket of bags and my thoughts were jumbled and my heart was warm. Later I thought what a coincidence. What are the chances for that kind of encounter? What if every DCS worker wore a May is Adoption Adopt button and when the moment was ripe, asked someone if they would like to wear it.

Like the Chinese saying: Light one candle and soon the darkness will be gone. Hand out one DCS Adopt A Child button to someone willing to wear it in public and soon the foster children of TN could find a permanent home . Maybe more children in our foster care system could find a permanent loving home. It’s worth a try.

I believe coincidences are not coincidental. I belief in a force bigger than myself using me to change the world.

My Game, My Ball, My Life

2007-10-28T06:08:00.000-11:00

I AM the leader of my game.
I DO HAVE my own ball.
I CAN play when and where I want to play.
I forget I AM RETIRED from the employment world.
But I am not retired from the world of opportunity.

2007-10-26T20:05:00.000-11:00

Those old fogies really get to me
Preaching, posing, prancing,
the same old party line,
the same old promises
nothing changes but the names.

I want to be the leader
I want to set the rules
How silly is that?

I am not even in the game.
I am a Monday morning quarterback
I want to take my ball and leave the field.
That is more silly rubbish

I don't have a ball
I am not on the playing field
I am not even a spectator
I am Walter Mitty's feminine counterpart

Dreaming, by day
Dreaming, By night
Life is but a dream...lately a nightmare.

The end.

My Soul Is Restless

2007-10-26T18:12:00.000-11:00

I am not so smart after all.

But I don't care.

I am not so young anymore

But I don't care.

I feel the same on the inside.

Who cares what I look on the outside?

I do!!

Vanity is not reserved for the young.

None of the capital sins are reserved for the young.

It just takes a little bit longer to remember them.

Stella

2007-10-19T21:58:00.000-11:00

There is a wonderful old movie, called Stella Dallas. Stella raised her daughter by herself. When it came time for daughter to marry a rich young man from a cultured family, Stella stood outside in the snow, watching her daughter get married. Stella acted sorta like a floozy and didn't want to embarrass her daughter or spoil things for her. My mother and I watched it together. I will never forget thinking how painful it was for Stella and yet understanding, she wanted her daughter to have what Stella herself had never had. I felt uneasy with that and even though my mother got on my nerves and sometimes embarrassed me, I could not let her stand outside in the snow and peek in the windows. She came to our parties and my friends were glad to see her. They loved my Dad. He was a great mixer. She wasn't but I didn't leave her outside.

2007-10-01T17:01:00.000-11:00

Well, you have certainly done it this time, Ollie.

You are in between a rock and a hard place.

I am waiting for the Deus ex machina to save me.

My guardian angel is protecting me until reinforcements come.

I will think about it tomorrow.

Trite as trite can be.

Choices

2007-09-22T06:42:00.000-11:00

My children have far exceeded my dreams for them.
They are talented, smart, savy, and go-getters.
They travel to my dream spots.
They have familiar traits that I faintly recognize.

Lately, I have felt like a went-went.
Used up, tossed aside like an old rag-doll who everyone has outgrown or out loved.
Yet, there is still something deep with in me that urges me forward.
I move. I stir. I do.

The old boy wants to remain a bachelor.
I will not fight him on that choice.
It is not for me to fight for or against.
It just is.
He does not let me into his life.
What is that all about?

I will not live through him nor my children nor grandchildren.
Those choices would all be easier than to choose to live for myself.
So, for now, I retreat into my safe spots. I will come out after I have rested, regrouped and played with the puzzle pieces of my life.

Jabberings

2007-09-18T05:57:00.000-11:00

Bevira is the combination of two of my married friends' names.

At first glance, it looks like a new strain of virus.

Or then again, it could be a sign of their close relationship.

It could be prompted by cleverness.

It could be expedient, a type of shorthand.

It could be anything.

For sure, the exercise of combining the names of two lovebirds is enticing.

Justin and Barb = JuBara,

Cat and Brad = CatBra

Sandy and David = Sandda

Matt and Kristen = Krismatt

Oh, this is fun!!!!!

ISLAND CHILD

2007-09-17T13:15:00.000-11:00

I am an Island Child , a blessed child, raised in the sun.
Yet shaded from the blistering rays of the noonday sun.
The palm trees sway where I play.
The tropical breezes whisper as I pray.
The sand stays in my hair and between my toes.
And so that is how my day goes, that is how my life goes,
Here on the sparkling shores west of the Azores.

Someday soon, if Mommy and Daddy are not done,
Brothers and sisters will share my fun.
Whether following the footprints of love or treading over a lost treasure trove,
We will grow and learn and dream on our island of love.

Birthday Candle Glow

2007-09-17T12:58:00.000-11:00

Happy Birthday, oh daughter of mine!

When and where are we going to dine?

Being together will be better than fine.

Whether at six, seven, eight or nine.

The time, place and date are yours to set

For me, I will be there, your bottom dollar, to bet,

Today, tomorrow, morning, noon or night

We will be together in the glow of your birthday candle light.

2007-09-17T12:41:00.000-11:00

Oh, Cathy, my first born,

You are now "Cat" and so complete.

You don't need me anymore for your secrets to keep.

You are in my heart and will be forever more

But the question is "am I in your heart any more?"

Oh, that doesn't matter, I don't matter,

Your new life is all that matters

I am supposed to understand,

But I don't understand your cold , cold , heart.

You think your child will always love you or at least respect you

but as Dr Phil says your behavior towards me will turn and bite you in your butt.

You can't hate anyone and have love

That is not how it works

You are either pregnant or not

There is no in-between

Just like love.