Choices

My children have far exceeded my dreams for them.
They are talented, smart, savy, and go-getters.
They travel to my dream spots.
They have familiar traits that I faintly recognize.

Lately, I have felt like a went-went.
Used up, tossed aside like an old rag-doll who everyone has outgrown or out loved.
Yet, there is still something deep with in me that urges me forward.
I move. I stir. I do.

The old boy wants to remain a bachelor.
I will not fight him on that choice.
It is not for me to fight for or against.
It just is.
He does not let me into his life.
What is that all about?

I will not live through him nor my children nor grandchildren.
Those choices would all be easier than to choose to live for myself.
So, for now, I retreat into my safe spots. I will come out after I have rested, regrouped and played with the puzzle pieces of my life.